Breaking the Silence of Infertility

Sitting in the waiting room of the fertility clinic, I notice infertility doesn’t affect one type of person- it affects everyone.  You start to see the different faces of infertility:  the couples, those by their lonesome, the daughter accompanied by her mom, those dressed to the 9’s and those that look they just rolled out of bed and everything in between.

With 70 million people suffering from infertility (10-15% of couples trying), I started to wonder, just how many people in my daily life were silent “carriers” dealing with this issue all on their own. It reminds me of my husband’s last health assessment, when the nurse discovered his high cholesterol and said, “But you look healthy!”  What she meant was, you don’t look sick.

Infertility impacts us all in different ways, but one thing is true- it’s an internal disease with internal symptoms.  Some of us, ok… most of us… didn’t even know that we were infertile until many months of disappointingly negative pregnancy tests or month after month of seeing the “wicked red witch” (as it’s referred to on those many, many, MANY pregnancy forums). Even once we find out it’s not something easily shared.  Why is that? It’s a health issue- something beyond our control, yet it makes us feel as though we did something wrong, or that we are the only ones dealing with this issue.  What if we were more open?  What if we let others dealing with this issue know that they’re not alone? Would it be a different story then?

I can just picture it: Couples and individuals swapping treatment stories, sharing in laugher about their preconceived misconceptions, talking outside of the online forums. Maybe then, and only then would we feel like we’re not the only ones dealing with this and truly understand that the problem isn’t “us.”